Must Sleep But Can't!

Because I should be up four and a half hours from now, I should be off to bed, right? But because I'm so addicted to these games, I can't force myself to stop(even if I must) until I've repapered the bathroom wall of my bathroom in Yoville and completed my pet's wardrobe at Pet Society. What is more, I feel excited and happy. 

(Picture courtesy of http://thepluginsite.com)


Why?


Well, a close friend I haven't heard from for more than 12 years(I think) sent me a message through facebook! But wait, as complex and dramatic as my love life had been, he is among the most unforgettable friends I've had although I've long recovered from the...Anyway, this is not the time for me to discuss what transpired between me, him, and another close friend whom I dearly miss up to this very moment! I've been trawling the net hoping to get in touch with them somehow, and it wasn't until recently that a common friend of ours suggested me as a friend via facebook that he managed to find me. To think that I've been wondering how to get in touch with him for months! 


One down, one more to go.  


Friends are treasures. Whatever happened many years back has long ended, and has become another part of my colorful life, a learning experience that molded me into the quirky yet oh-so-sensitive woman I am now.  

No Choice

My mind has been droning as usual. Going to work these days has been such a chore that I literally feel sick upon waking, thus I always end up contemplating on whether to drag my weary butt off to work or not. And since I have bills to pay(quite a hefty amount actually), I need not divulge what option I take most of the time. It's so obvious. But let me get this straight: I may have started to become lackadaisical toward my job, but it does not mean to say that I have totally abandoned my passion for writing and of course, art. No. Never. 


Even in the midst of finishing tasks at the office, fantasies still intrude every once so often. Absurd as it is, but while I'm head bent on finishing an article, thoughts of myself making my own illustrated novel flit in and out of my consciousness. Although it really bugs me when my concentration is interrupted, I could not keep my thoughts still. In between words, I would wonder how it would be like if I were in the midst of penning my story instead of trying to creatively present an otherwise boring topic using cleverly arranged words, so as to attract and hold my intended readers' attention. 


Because of the constant interruption, my steady flow of thoughts would eventually peter out until I find myself driven into a wall: unable to continue yet struggling in vain to pick up from where I left off(luckily, I still manage to wrap everything up without damaging the quality of my work). And now as I finish this post while battling the effects of the melatonin sleeping pill(natural and with hardly any side effects if I'm not mistaken) I took more than 45 minutes ago, I begin to wonder whether the chills would strike again and awaken me during mid-sleep. When that happens, I already know what to expect: that dreaded feverish feeling again overwhelming my senses, tearing me apart once more, forcing me to hastily choose between staying in bed or dragging myself to work for yet another droning day at the office. 


I have bills to pay, my life to support, and parents to help care for. With these on my shoulders, I do not think I really have any kind of choice to begin with. For now, maybe yes. But in the future...I'll just have to wait and see if fate would finally grant me the choice to turn things around for the better.

Picture courtesy of http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com

Not Here

Voices far beyond

Screaming, arguing, grieving

I hear not a word